How Am I Loving Myself More This Year?


Self-love is important but I would be lying if I said I make it a priority in my life. It's hard to practice when you don’t make time for yourself. By only focusing on your insecurities, you damage your self-esteem and hinder your ability to wholeheartedly love who you are.

Think about how often you are kind to people. Now ask yourself, how kind am I to myself? Some of us treat people better than how we treat ourselves which doesn't make any sense. I've always said you are the only person you will ever spend the most time with so why wouldn't you want to treat yourself with care, love, and respect. This is exactly how you would treat someone you love. It shouldn't be different when it comes to you as an individual.

I made a commitment to love myself more this year by doing the things I love, accepting who I am, accepting the situations I am in, and by being more conscious of my self-talk.

How are we reducing our self-love? 

- Comparison

The thief of joy. I've never heard a truer statement because that's all comparison does. It makes you unhappy because you think about everything you lack rather than everything you have. Ever compared yourself to a beautiful Instagram babe and thought why can't I be this pretty??? Sometimes a flawless body in a bikini would appear on my social media feed - sun-kissed, hairless, soft and an even skin-complexion. Then comparison kicks in. I start to feel bad about myself because my body looks nothing like the gorgeous woman I saw on Instagram.

When you're insecure about your appearance, it takes time and practice to see someone attractive without seeing yourself as insignificant or "not enough". In other words, it will take some time to admire someone else without finding an issue with yourself. Don't waste time wishing you looked like another person, learn to be happy with who you are because you're an amazing human being. You are not any less beautiful than that insta bad b okay.

Someone anonymously said:
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are".
and they're exactly right.

- Not Accepting the Present

Most of us are not living in the present moment. Was your last thought about this very moment, something you did in the past or something you have to do in the future? My favourite spiritual thinker, Eckhart Tolle always emphasises how resisting the present moment prevents peace from entering our life. If we always find an issue with the present, we will always be in conflict with ourselves. Lately, I've been feeling down about my eczema but I reminded myself that I can't change my situation in this very moment. Rather than continuing to complain and feel upset,  I did some research and came across a black eczema sufferer. She created a dietary book with recipes that allowed her to fully heal.

Remember self-love isn't possible until we accept our reality and not fight against it. This doesn't mean we can't change our reality, it means we must accept it first without resentment. Loving yourself means you are willing to let go of the things you can't control and accept what is.

- Not having enough time for ourselves

The older you get the less time you have to do things because you have more responsibilities. No matter how busy life gets, you should always make time for yourself. A long list of priorities is sitting in the back of our minds and we're placed at the bottom. When you're not making yourself a priority, we are more likely to experience stress and feel like we are working for nothing. You deserve to reap the rewards for your hard work, so don't forget to put yourself at the top of your priority list!

How am I loving myself more this year:

- Not waiting for company

In 2019 Life Lessons, I mentioned how I started to do a few activities alone. I decided that it isn't necessary to wait for someone to accompany me every time I want to do the things I love or like doing. If there’s a restaurant I really want to go to but no ones available, I can just go on my own. If no one wants to see an artist I absolutely LOVE, I am booking that ticket to go on my own. There is nothing wrong with doing things by yourself. The longer you wait for people to say "yes" to the things you want to do, the more things you end up missing out on.

- Reducing the self negative talk 

We all make mistakes, we're human! We forget things, we lose things and we miss things. When you do all three, we get really angry at the person doing it. You. "I'm so stupid", "I'm a joke" and the list of insults goes on. How you treat yourself is how the world will treat you. The universe aligns opportunities, events and people according to your own beliefs and thoughts. This is why I strongly believe the words that come out of our mouths are more important than we can imagine. I am becoming more aware of the things I say, especially with the words that come after "I am..." because it often becomes your reality. 

- Learning how to relax

Whenever I'm not doing something, I feel like I should be doing something. This toxic cycle makes me think I always need to be busy. I came across a quote on Twitter the other day:
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life" - Socrates.

If you try to be busy all the time life will pass you by. Are the tasks you need to do really worth completing? Are you taking on more priorities than you can handle for the sake of it? Just like Tolle, Socrates implies how we need to enjoy the present moment more, joy can be found in this current moment, not a thousand useless tasks.

When I’m watching a Netflix show, sometimes I lose focus because my mind circulates all the “should be’s” - “you should be writing”, “you should be doing uni work” , you should be doing this and that which makes it difficult to unwind. We all need to take a break sometimes and that’s okay. It gives us a chance to refresh and stay motivated because we’re getting ready for the next thing we need to do.

- Being mindful of what I eat 

As an eczema sufferer, I’ve been told by numerous doctors that diet has nothing to do with the skin condition but they're wrong. I already know my triggers...it’s just the case of staying disciplined to restrict myself from eating the things that are bad for me. Eating out too much isn't good for my skin either due to the oil they use.

There will be times I’ll give in and have a cheat day but I can't hate myself for that. I'm planning to buy the dietary book I mentioned earlier in the post so I can really focus on eating the foods that will allow me to heal. Even though it mentions cutting out meat... I guess anything worth having comes with sacrifice, and I love myself enough to want my body to heal.

Make a commitment to be kinder to yourself because you deserve the love you would give to anyone else! What are you going to do to love yourself more this year?


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