Forsaken the Token of Love

forsaken the token of love,
it is covered with deceit
and bad intentions,
a blessing it appears to be,
only for you to fall so easily,
straight into a curse,
unbreakable chains,
your freedom stripped away,
forsaken the token of love,
avoid the unbearable pain...

Unfinished Masterpiece

An unfinished masterpiece,
words left unspoken,
the shattered pieces,
seen through the
alluring eyes.

A devils wish,
beauty of the artistry,
behind the words that flow so easily
off the tongue.

Prayers for invulnerability,
coldness to the very depths of 
the soul,
the heart speaks of a language unknown,
a language attracting
the unfinished masterpiece
and all the broken souls.

'Self-Love is a Journey'

Giving yourself love may seem easy but for many of us self-love can be really hard to practice. By external factors affecting how we see ourselves, with constant media consumption in our daily lives
to what society perceives as 'beautiful' or accepted, it's far too easy to significantly reduce self-love.

I admire women who do not seek validation from others to confirm that they are good enough and beautiful. I admire women who do not wait to be complimented to feel good about themselves when their thoughts and inner voices are already kind. I admire women who without fail accept who they are and do not wish to be anyone else but themselves.



regard for one's own well-being and happiness. 

How much time do you invest to positively influence your self-love? Do you make it a priority to love yourself more each day and to be more proud of the person you are becoming?

Here are some questions to help you decide whether you are negatively feeding into self-love:

Are your thoughts and your inner voices kind?

If your answer is no:

Start to understand how these thoughts and inner voices mould you into the person you are today. It's important to make sure your words are kind because your thoughts and words reflect the energy you hold within yourself. Therefore take care so you do not emanate negative energy.

Do you accept the person you are today?

If your answer is no:

Ask yourself why? What can you do differently to become the person you want to be? 

Do people's opinions/thoughts of you affect how you see yourself?

If your answer is yes:

Remember that you are not living to please others, some people have a tendency to inflict their own insecurities onto you. Do not give anyone the power to make you feel bad about yourself when they give hurtful judgements (it says a lot more about the person who is saying it than you).

Are you making useless comparisons to other people's lifestyles, appearances to your own?

If your answer is yes:

Comparing yourself is a huge blow to your self-esteem. It's so difficult to refrain from comparison when we are constantly exposed to different people and a glimpse/insight into their lifestyles via social media. When another person appears to be more happier, own more materialistic goods, in a position of more success, make yourself fully aware that you have no idea about their journey and how they got to where they are now. Why compare yourself to someone who has put countless hours of hard work and dedication into something when you haven't done the same. Even with appearance, accept the body you were born in as it will be the same one you will die in. Why spend your whole life hating how you look if it cannot be changed?

How can I increase the love I give to myself?

Observe your thoughts

Start off by observing the thoughts you allow to circulate in your head. Are they encouraging, grateful and kind thoughts? Or are they discouraging, ungrateful and pessimistic thoughts? Analyse how these thoughts affect my behaviour, the way I think, the way I speak and my attitude. By being the watcher of what you allow to feed into your mind, you are able to see what is doing you harm. For example, when you see a really attractive girl on instagram, the first thing you may think is "wow she's really pretty" and a lot of girls would then start comparing themselves and complain they don't as attractive. This thought process is decreasing self-love. Refrain from the useless comparison, she looks the way she does and you look the way you do. Start to like your own features and accepting the way you look. You will never look like someone else BUT yourself no matter how much you wish to look like her or him. When you finally accept this you will have abundant amounts of self-love.

Positive affirmations

In a motivational video I watched, a female speaker mentioned the significance of speaking out positive affirmations. I've recently started to try this and I can already see a change in how I think and feel. Try this for the first time when you start to beat yourself up about your features or your body. Stop and say "I am made with love and I am beautiful". If you find this hard to say, you simply find it hard to love yourself. Every time you feel a negative comment about yourself building up stop and repeat this or think of other positive affirmations to say out loud.

Instead of feeling upset about being lonely and claiming no one loves you, why not try saying "love is everywhere and I am loving and lovable", just because people are in relationships doesn't mean you are not good enough or unattractive. You just need to trust your timing, there is nothing wrong with being single and when the right person comes along you will find them.

Social media 

Social is only toxic if you allow it to be. If you lack self control it is far too easy for social media to take over your life - especially when it comes to ideals and shaping your values. Simply logging out when you feel like it's upsetting you can prevent further damage to your self-esteem. There are billions of people in this world, every single person has a different story. Take ACTION if it is effecting your self esteem and remember you are only shown the highlights to anyone's story.

The people you associate yourself with

Are they always judging what you do? Are they never supportive and encouraging? Are they unkind? Do they make you feel shitty? If your answer is yes to all 4 questions, you need to find a new circle. People have way too many meaningless friendships and ignore the simple fact that they shouldn't associate themselves with people who do not reciprocate the same energy. Think about the people in your life and what impact they have (is it positive or negative?).

Make time for what you like doing 

It's important to unwind by doing something you enjoy. Whether it be writing, cooking, playing a sport, gym; take a break. We usually like doing things we're good at, this means that we can boost our self-esteem and self-love.

Spending time alone

"Solitude is richness of self". Take some time out to be alone and reflect on yourself. Observe how you feel, understand what is going on inside of you, recollect your thoughts, clear you mind and relax.

Accepting yourself

Acceptance is the biggest step towards self-love. By not accepting who we are or what we look like we're living in denial. If you really don't like a feature about yourself, for instance your weight, you can make an effort to change it. What cannot be changed must be accepted. With that being said, you need to be patient with the process as accepting yourself can take time.

Pamper yourself

Plan a nice outfit, paint your nails, curl your hair, do something different with yourself. It is the little things as well that can increase self-love.

The final point I want to leave you with is this; we need to prevent ourselves from doing things that diminish self love. I wrote a poem called Precious Temple, it is about our bodies being a precious temple that shouldn't be wrongfully owned or broken into. You are the owner of your body, LEARN to love it. You are born in it. You will die in it. Self-acceptance is a step towards an abundant amount of self-love. No matter how busy your life is take a moment to stop and observe how you feel. Life can leave us feeling unbalanced so care for yourself and love yourself.

Strangely Euphonious

forlorn shadows enter the room,
no life,
no sound,
strings unattached
until a melancholic tune is crooned,
weeps at the torn sheets on the bed,
scratches on the wall,
echoes of silent screams blends in
with a strangely euphonious tune...

Jay Shetty's Eye Opening Message

Growing up, Jay Shetty took part in anything that aroused him. Surprisingly, Jay Shetty was a 'rebellious teenager' but he managed to find his way and redirect his path. In this video Shetty shares an enlightening message which stems from a time he met a monk who completely changed his perspective and even inspired him to become a monk too.
This video is an eye opener as Jay Shetty articulates the importance of clearly knowing what one wants. An important piece of advice that struck out to me is that we need to start listening to our inner voices. Our inner voices can help us truly understand what it is we want. However, this becomes difficult when we are surrounded by excessive external noise. The more often we hear this noise the quicker and easier it is to become immune to it. Rather than listening to our inner voices to make decision for us, we starting listening to the noise which gets into heads (for instance, the pressures of societal expectations, parent expectations, friends, people around you). To weaken this external disruptive noise from influencing your decisions, Shetty introduces detachment - "Detachment is not that you owe nothing, detachment is that nothing owes you".

Some of us are certain about the careers we want to pursue but sometimes when we get there, it isn't what we imagined or what we thought it would be. Jay Shetty suggests we should fast forward our lives 10 or 15 years down the line and ask ourselves, "is this where I want to be?". Sometimes the path society carves out for us is not the path meant for us and thus, not the one we must follow. The monk talks us through 3 steps we should take when we face these challenges:
Without clarity, we lose a sense of direction and become lost. This is why so many people end up in occupations they hate. It all comes down to developing self-awareness and deeply knowing one's thoughts. You need to divert your focus to your PURPOSE in life to create fulfilment of what you really want.
Step 1 - Being exposed to unique experiences and role models
Step 2 - Shadowing, networking, observing role models you're passionate about
Step 3 - Yes or no, is this who I want to be?

In an ideal life, according to the monk we all have a head, heart and a hand that work together in alignment.

Head - clarity of vision, knowing what you want
Heart - understanding your intuition and what your heart wants
Hand - the service you give

Without clarity, we lose a sense of direction and become lost. This is why so many people end up in occupations they hate. It all comes down to developing self-awareness and deeply knowing one's thoughts. You need to divert your focus to your PURPOSE in life to create fulfilment of what you really want.

The Power of Now | BOOK REVIEW

I have to admit, this book took me a while to finish.  It's quite intense and heavy in terms of context - it requires an open mind and deep thinking however, it doesn’t remove the earnest and meaningful flare of Elkhart Tolle's writing. In order to get a clear and comprehensible idea of how to apply Tolle's meditative ideals, I think it would be reasonable to read it at least twice which is what I will probably do.

Through Tolle’s spiritual enlightenment guide you can learn how 'The Power of Now' frees you from chains of pain and suffering by focusing on this very moment. By surrendering and completely accepting what is is the only way we can allow inner peace to enter our lives and become fully conscious.

I struggle deeply with living in the now, I would rather live in a false reality than focus on the present. Why? Because it gives me freedom, happiness and an escape from what is. Now what good does this do? It only ends up becoming delusional. It hurts more knowing that the present moment does not match your false fantasy of what you want your life to be. By ignoring the pain of your reality rather than facing it and accepting it, you only allow it to grow.

Tolle points out that we shouldn't be mistaken - he is not saying we should accept all things wrong with our lives and leave it as it is. He says ACCEPT it as it is, then take the necessary action to change it. Do not dwell on something you CANNOT change or not WILLING to change as this brings you away from the most important moment you have - the present.

“Make it a habit to ask yourself: What’s going on inside me at this moment? That question will point you in the right direction. But don’t analyse, just watch. Focus your attention within. Feel the energy of emotion. If there is no emotion present, take your attention more deeply into the inner energy field of your body. It is the doorway into Being."

Allowing your body to FEEL the emotion rather than THINKING about it is a key factor to living in the now. By living in denial of how you truly feel and failing to address these negative emotions fabricates a life lived in denial. This ends up becoming problematic because it builds up it can transform into a physical problem. By observing our thoughts and body we can take control of the energy that flows within. 

In the book the writer highlights using all our senses fully. Allowing yourself to listen to the silence you find peace. Allowing yourself to appreciate the empty spaces, you find peace. Allow yourself to feel nothing and be nothing, you find peace. Most importantly, accepting what is and allowing yourself to just be - you find peace. 

"The past and present is an illusion" 

Elkhart Tolle does not speak about this in a philosophical sense, he emphasises it as a plain fact. Everything that is happening is happening in this very moment. When we think about the future, it is an imagined projected future. We long so much for the future because we believe our lives will drastically change. Success attained will give us all materialistic goods we desired, we will find the love our lives, we will finally get what we want. Ignorantly, we forget happiness cannot be attained as the future cannot change the state of your inner being. Only the present can. This mind dominance linking to time (only attaching yourself to the past and future) is the biggest destroyer of peace and increases the denial of the now.

"mind habitually denies and resists the now because it cannot function and remain in control without time...[and] receives the timeless now as threatening"

"To go beyond the mind and reconnect with the deeper relativity of Being, very different qualities are needed: surrender, non judgement, an openness that allows life to be instead of resisting it, the capacity to hold all think in the loving embrace of your knowing"

Being unconscious of the pain we inflict on ourselves means that our behavioural and mind patterns start to work in line with attracting pain. The pain body is described as the "dark shadow cast by the ego", Tolle points out the longer we fail to acknowledge it the stronger the pain body becomes. It feeds on the negative energy field you produce, prevents any good from lasting in your life. So don't hold onto what is causing disruption inside, let it go, learn to just be.

My favourite quote of the book is this simple line:

"You attract and manifest whatever corresponds to your inner state"

Read it once and read it again. Think about it. How does this relate to you?