How to Become Unstuck from Negative Thinking

"You're always complaining!"

"Why are you so negative?"

Sound familiar? (yes, unfortunately) If so then I'm afraid to say...

You are a negative person. Yikes.

The good news is is that you don't have to be a negative person forever! You can learn to break out of your damaging thinking habits and allow good things to manifest into your life. You can even become someone people actually like being around. Being negative will never help your situation get better so why not change?

You may always see quotes or sayings about how powerful your thoughts are because it's true. Your thoughts build your character, it's a reflection of who you are. Think about the greatest inventors to ever live. Would they have been able to believe in their inventions if they kept thinking how stupid their idea was? Of course not.

Why are people so negative? 

After weeks, months or years of living in victimhood and believing that bad things always happen to you, it's not surprising when pessimism takes over your world. You can't imagine life working in your favour and you are trapped in a delusion that the universe is working against you. This thinking habit results in a damaging continuous loop of an unchanged life. Things will never get better because you BELIEVE they won't.

Most negative people are a product of a "bad" environment, "bad" relationships or a "bad" life situation. When my focus is solely on things I am unhappy with or things I wish I had I'm blocking all hope of positive change.

No one is born "negative". Everyone has a choice in which attitude they choose to have. Most of us can't stand negative people because their energy is draining and toxic. It's very tempting to tell a negative person to "just be positive" but it's easier said than done. When they have been stuck in a negative state of mind for so long it becomes difficult to change old habits but it's still possible. If a dog has been taught for years how to kneel and one day you say "jump", he wouldn't know what to do because he hasn't been trained to jump. Negative people haven't trained themselves to think in a positive way, this is why they find it difficult to condition their thoughts and improve how they think.

How do I become unstuck from negative thinking?

One of the best motivational speakers in the world, Tony Robbins, gives us helpful advice in ways to put a stop to our negative thinking. After watching both videos I have combined all the key points and put them into 4 key steps:

1) Identify your emotional state

Where do you live emotionally and what are the reasons for this? Write down all the possible reasons for your negative thinking.

Tony mentions how our physicality plays a huge part in what emotions we feel. If we want to change the emotion we need to make radical changes in our body. I'm a lazy and slow walker and I've finally concluded that it has nothing to do with my legs. I'm just used to walking at a slow pace but my speed increases when I remind myself to pick up my pace to reach my destination. Think about how you feel when you power walk or speed walk. Do you feel a sense urgency and determination to get something done?

When I feel hopeless and negative I tend to slouch a lot and adopt lazy gestures. If you catch yourself doing this, change your posture and sit up straight. Tony Robbins explains how this instant change will prove more certainty in your mind and your body, and in turn contribute to a changed emotion.

2) Find the antidote 

Once you have established the problem(s), think about possible solutions. Figure out what emotion you want to feel and work towards it. By focusing on your actual target rather than the problem itself, you are allowing optimism to come into your life.

During my first year of uni I felt really lonely and isolated but I never tried to solve my problem - I know if I focused more on the goal: meeting new people and making friends rather than my negative emotion (loneliness) a lot could have changed. I know I would have made more of an effort to attend events and societies by focusing on what I actually wanted.

In the first video, Tony asks everyone to think about something they are really proud of. He then tells them to close their eyes and think about how it feels to be really proud. A minute after, everyone in the room was then able to feel the feeling of being proud. It's clear that by changing your focus to the emotion you want to feel rather than dwelling on the negative emotions you are currently experiencing, you can change your emotional state. Stop complaining and moaning about how bad things are, instead keep pushing for the difference you want to see and believe you will see it! A self-fulling prophecy is a perfect description for the process. Instead of saying "I'm...(negative emotion)", change it into "I am going to feel (a positive emotion) - and you will see a reduction in your negativity.

3) Take action (and practice that emotion)

Now that you have identified what emotion you want to feel or generally speaking, what you want your situation to be like, you can start figuring out what necessary actions are needed to move closer towards this goal.

Negative people want things to go their way, when they don't they become frustrated at the world because we are to blame (apparently). In order to experience a certain emotion you need to learn how to practice it. For instance, if want to feel loved, you need to give love. If you want to feel appreciated, you need to remind someone (whether it be a good friend or relative) how appreciative you are for them to be in your life.

4) Change your result

The changes in your thinking patterns and behaviour will lead to the achievement of desirable results. It all comes down to you - remind yourself of these steps and put them into practice to prevent negative thinking.

In the end, it all comes done to making the decision to no longer let negative emotions control you. When you feel like your falling into negatively instantly put a stop to it - sit up straight and say "I am not going to let negativity consume me". Time is precious - don't waste it complaining and moaning! Speak good things into your life, practice affirmations and learn to think before you speak because what you say holds more power than you think.

No one wants to be around a Negative Nancy who whines and moans all the time! If you are one of those people, please take the conscious effort to change how you behave. Not for the people around you, for yourself. When you finally decide to change your attitude to whatever occurs in your life, you will find yourself coping much better than before. I speak about gratitude in a lot of my motivational posts because we are not as grateful as we should be. Always appreciate what you do have and focus on what you should be grateful for.

If you know someone who is always negative, try to understand the reasons behind it. Changing your mindset does not happen instantly, it will take some time with practice. It's easy to just cut them off, their presence exhausts you and brings you down. Look at it this way, no one wants to be negative forever. Why not provide them with some advice that will help them to stop? (like sending this post;)) Rather than saying "bloody hell you're always negative!!" try to explain to the person the impact their negativity is having on you.

When you walk out of your house you want be the type of person you would like to meet. As an individual who is in the process of becoming unstuck from negative thinking  I leave you with the quote:

 "see life as a glass half full instead of half empty!"